The 90/10 Principle By Stephen Covey - Management Guru

10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided
by how you react. What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot
stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We
have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine
the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can
control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you
react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a
cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what
just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how
you react.You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the
cup over.

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse
and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the
table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your
shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to
finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your
spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in
a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic
fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building
without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late,
you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it
continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming
home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship
with your spouse and
daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad
day?
1) Did the coffee cause it?
2) Did your daughter cause it?
3) Did the policeman cause it?
4) Did you cause it?

The answer is "4".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted
in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have
and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently
say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your
briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your
child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes
early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the
day you are having.

Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other
90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let
the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the
negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A
wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting
stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your
temper? Pound on the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering
wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do
you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the
cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry
about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It
will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another
job.The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control
over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the
other passenger.

Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the
90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You
will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this
principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress,
trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

Paradox === A brilliant example...

Paradox - "A statement that seems contradictory or absurd but is actually

valid or true."

Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee.

The student struck a deal saying, "I would pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court".

Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.

When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days.

Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying:
"If I win this case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case.

So either way I will have to get the money".

Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher. And if I lose the case, I don't have
to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything".

This is one example of a paradox.

FlOwErS BlOsSoMiNg
fLoWeRs dYiNg iN YoUr hAnDs
tHe bEaUtY Of dEaTh

Few lines from a poem by The Great Mystic rumi...

If we come to ignorance, that is His prison.
And if we come to knowledge, that is his Balcony

If we come to sleep ,we are His drowsy ones.
And if we come to wake,we are in His hands.

If we come to weeping,we are His clouds full of raindrops.
And if we come to laughing, we are His lightning in that moment.

If we come to anger and battle,it is the reflection of His wrath.
And if we come to peace and pardon ,it is the reflection of his LOVE

A Whole New World

I can show you

the world
Shining, shimmering,
splendid
Tell me, princess,
now when did
You last let your
heart decide?
*
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder
by wonder
Over, sideways
and under
On a magic carpet ride
A whole new world
A new fantastic
point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're
only dreaming
*
A whole new world
A dazzling
place i never knew
But when i'm
way up here
It's crystal clear
That now i'm in a whole
new world with you
Now i'm in a whole new
world with you
A whole new world
Don't you dare close
your eyes
A hundred thousand
things to see Hold your breath — it
gets better I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go hack to where
i used to be
*
A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me.

Valentine Day : Shades of love

“Love in the heart was not meant there to stay. Love is not love till you give it away”. For love to be ever lasting and eternal every one should be aware of the different stages of love and know its significance. Following are the different phases through which you will travel in your love life and only those who pass it will have an endless love.

ATTRACTION

Attraction can be defined as something, which is more than friendship and is a step towards getting ready for a relationship. Now attraction is of two types:
a. Physical Attraction - happens when your body reacts to another person. Heart rate increases; temperature rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens; etc. This is what will tell you that you are ready for the first contact and also whether you are comfortable in the company of the other person.
b. Emotional Attraction - develops next if the circumstances are right. After being drawn to a person physically, you then begin to come closer. If you find you have things in common — hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common ground — then an emotional attraction starts to form. Sometimes an emotional attraction can occur even when a physical attraction does not. And in this case, the bond will be stronger between the two who connect, since no preconceived notions based on physical appearance has occurred.



INTIMACY

Intimacy is something, which a person experiences when you learn to trust and believe your lover. It is a close association with another person of the deepest nature. You share you thoughts, feelings, and dreams. You feel free to discuss everything with this person and you are absolutely comfortable in his company. Thus intimacy develops gradually. If you can’t establish intimacy with your partner, your relationship may work for a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout the years. Intimacy is actually the path to a true, healthy and beautiful relationship.



ROMANCE

Romance is the essence of a relationship. Without romance your love life will not exist. Romance is the true identity of your love. It brings out your true self and helps you be a better lover, husband and partner. Romance is a celebration of the life you live as part of a couple. It springs naturally and originates from within your heart. It makes you do things that you possibly couldn’t have imagined to do otherwise. It shows you who you are and reminds you of the role you play in a relationship. Romance is not responsibility but it is caring about your responsibilities towards your lover and partner. Romance is the appreciation of two people who are celebrating the lucky coincidence that they found each other.



PASSION

The third stage is passion, which basically means a desire for another person, which has grown to an intensity that can’t be ignored. This is often where an emotional relationship turns into a physical relationship. The passion stage is very important. For from here you will understand the true meaning and nature of your relationship. If there is no passion then its best to let go but if there is passion in your relationship then it is time to go on to the next stage.


COMMITMENT

The last stage is commitment. This is when you know that you want to spend your whole life with this person you love and you can do anything for him. It is when your whole world just revolves round your lover and you take a pledge to remain true to your mate throughout good and bad times, be by his side whenever he needs you.

I hate being by myself, to be honest. It’s not because I get bored by myself, and it’s not even necessarily because I get lonely (well, not entirely, anyways). It’s because whenever I’m alone, I almost always end up turning introspective. I have to start looking at myself – what I’ve done, how I’ve felt, what I’ve wanted and hated and wished I could’ve just forgotten entirely.
It’s like all of my anxieties and self-doubts start creeping up on me, and when they do, they won’t go away. I can’t remember anything good I’ve done, no matter how hard I try, and one by one each of my failings rears its terrifying head and reminds me just how worthless I am. How unlovable. How empty. How pathetic and pitiable.
I’ll see lies and denials, letting me know how I’ve tried to protect myself by shutting everyone else out. I’ll see jobs half-finished because I knew I wasn’t good enough, I knew I shouldn’t have even bothered starting. I’ll see the looks of disappointment on everyone’s faces during those times when I just didn’t care.
But maybe even that’s too arrogant of me. One can’t be disappointed without expectations, after all – and is it even right of me to assume that anyone expects anything out of me? I certainly don’t. I just act like an idiot if something goes wrong; or rather, if I do something wrong. Inevitably it’s my fault somewhere down the line.
It’s worst whenever the faces get less cloudy, though. Can my dad still be proud of me, even though I’m a wuss and a cheat? Can my coaches and teachers still care about my performance when I stopped caring and just gave up on myself? Can the girl I love love me for who I am when I hate myself? That’s the worst part of it, and if I don’t get sick then I just break down and lose it.
Sometimes, I want to blame something on someone else. I don’t even want a scapegoat for all my problems – I just want to believe that at least one of them isn’t my fault.

What is inevitable

I don't understand why people wish for life. we live to die. as soon as we are born, as soon as we take our first breathe we begin to die. we don't get any younger, only older. some mourn over the loss of a loved one, and want to be with them. to some it may seem like an eternity, but it is merely years before we join them. the fact is that we will all die. there is no escaping, no hiding from, and no fight that can win over death. some may say that they have escaped death, but this isn't true. they just weren't meant to die. you either die or you don't. some die earlier than others, but that is just how it is. you can live life to it's fullest and take every chance that you can to make your life wonderful. these are ways to ease pain and suffering. or to have a good time, it all depends on the person. if you have the morbid thought of death lurking in your mind, it may only ease the pain. if you are joyful and carefree, thay may add to your good times. but you see, i cannot get this thought off of my mind, this thought of death. it often scares me, of how my life will just simply end, if how i will cease to be. i find no comfort in peoples words of how i will not be forgotten, for i will. no one will remember me. i will be lost.

True Love

People don't understand what it means to love someone. Love is not something you can be selfish about. It is a give and take situation, notice give being the first word in that. Love is not about what the person you're with is doing to make you happy, it's about what you're doing to make them happy. Now the person you're with should be thinking along the same lines so it's not a take-take situation on their part.

All ideals about love being completely intense and passionate all the time should be thrown away. Love is not an entertainer, it is not going to constantly create excitement and passion. I'm not saying it never will but don't expect it to constantly be exciting. Know that even in the quiet times love is there, even as you do mundane tasks, it is there. If it is true and you are not lying to yourself about it, it will always be there.

I don't believe you can fall out of love with someone because if that happens you never really loved them, you were infatuated yes, but not in love. A relationship that lasts years and ends doesn't mean you truely loved the person, you did "love" them in a way but you never had true love.

The sad thing is not many people in this world find true love. They find common everyday love that cannot stand the test of time but not true love. True love lasts and though I know this is a cliche you really have to understand what I mean by "true love". By this I mean that if you are selfish about love and believe that it must make you happy at all times you will never have true love. True love is an understanding of what it means to be in love. It means giving and sacrificing more than you think you can. Now there is no right person. There are many millions of people in the world so how could you hope to discover a "soulmate"? Only when you understand true love can you be with someone and be truely in love.

restless. and doubly SAD.

Let the reason rest here.:O

Ouch!!! :O

Ouch!

Thanks Life, I needed that. A slap to make me snap out of it. I wish you'd gotten Epiphany to do it, instead of Rejection. But I suppose it got the job done.
I'm going, I'm going. I'll start that whole "living life to the fullest and being a good person" thing.

I Was a Child, Once...

I was a child, once.

I ran without fear of falling, convinced that if my steps were long enough and my faith strong enough I might take flight.

I laughed without fear of judgment, knowing that my youth lent me infallibility.

I cried without restrain, the armor that would hold my emotions thin and malleable.

I invented worlds that could never be, and for every question I created an answer, needing no more plausibility than the limits of my own mind.

I lay my head on the pillow with grass between my toes and the taste of fresh air still in my mouth. My eyes would close before the sun fully set.

When I awoke trembling in the night, my mother would lie beside me and all would be well.

Now.

Now I walk quickly, for if I run I might stumble.

I laugh only when prudence allows me to do so, for I know that my fallibility is endless.

My tears are restrained even further: bursting through the chinks of a nearly impenetrable armor only when no one is there to bear witness.

Invented worlds require laws and boundaries: even those defined by magic.

When I lay my head to sleep at night it is with my feet freshly scrubbed and the taste of hours long past midnight in my mouth.

When I awake trembling in the night, no one comes to lie beside me. A tattered relic, with its stuffing gone and nose ripped off, is all that is there to hold me. Arms squeeze it tight, and I pretend that all is well.

I was a child, once.

Now I must walk among the depressed, decrepit, and diseased. Good morning, adulthood.

Lifes Little Questions.....Keeps haunting me..:P

1. If we Reincarnate, do we fall in love with the same person over and over again?
If we believe in reincarnation, its nice to believe that once return to our lives, we’ll eventually fall in love with the same soul as before, just a different person every time. Its still the same soul, not the same face. True lovers always return to one another once returning from the afterlife to begin a new life on earth. We may not remember everything about ourselves in past lives, but our souls will recognize another’s soul as its match, as I like to believe. That’s why, sometimes, love at first sight is real.

2. Can people in the Afterlife watch over the living?
The paranormal is an issue that many people debate whether or not it is real. Ghosts, Poltergeists, are what some believe are spirits who have lingered from moving on to the next life to stay and watch over the living. Ghosts and “Guardian Angels” are pretty much the same thing. They both watch over and protect. Of course, people refer to ghosts as usually a bad sign or a scary situation. If you think about it, that ghost was once a human being as well, just as were Guardian Angels. The “bad ghosts” you have to look out for are more like Demons, a complete different subject.

3. What’s the afterlife like?
This is one of the more common questions when it comes to questioning our existence. Where DO we go? There are many theories on the matter, but I only have one belief when it comes to the afterlife. The after life looks just as how you want it to look like, and what’s in it, is up to your imagination. If you wish to go to the pearly gates in the clouds, then that is where you will go. If you want to live on a star, then that’s what your heaven or afterlife will be. And you can visit whoever you want in their heaven/afterlife too, so you won’t be lonely. Every race and religion is allowed to dream, so every race and religion will go to a good afterlife.

4. Is there such thing as fate/destiny?
If there is, you are the one to choose for yourself. No one picks it for you and it is most definitely not set in stone. What you do in your life is what makes and changes your fate. Your destined path is forever changing because of the decisions you make and the rules you may break. So relax! Do what you want to do. Lead your own life the way you think it should go.

5. Why is death bad?
In some cultures, death is celebrated, why shouldn’t we? Death only means that the person is moving on to an even better life where they no longer have to suffer the rules that the living have to deal with. Its just the next step in life that people really can’t seem to accept, which is understandable because you won’t see that person until you’ve left your worldly body to join them in paradise.

Maa.....dedicated to YOU only...

Like the seven ages of man, there are four ages of motherhood. The first stage lasts as long as she can assist the children with their homework and when they are still afraid of the dark. Perhaps that is also the time when children think mothers have superhuman powers and can do anything. In stage two there is a dramatic reversal. The teenager now is absolutely sure that the mother is anti-God, who is out to torment her wards. Roughly 1,000 days after the mother starts to think that the phase will never end, and notices that her grey is now visibly showing, the adolescent magically transforms into a youth. He or she now no longer thinks the mother is an enemy. That's because they don't think anything of the mother. Par more interesting things occupy their minds in the world that has suddenly opened up before them. Amma and the old man accept the reality stoically and watch the nine o'clock news ! with one eye on the clock, and the other, drooping.
Stage four is when the children become independent adults. Life comes a full circle when some technologically challenged mothers, awed by all the things that their wards can do with computers and gadgets, begin to believe that their child is a super-kid in the digital world who can get anything done by clicking a few buttons.

Live upto ur Beliefs....

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your I religious books.Do not believe in
anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and
is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all,then accept it and live up to it...

Get Out Now

I’m drowning in my own empty mind--so blank, yet ready to explode. I want to scream and cry and grasp someone so tightly that I forget who I am. I want to scratch at my skin until I bleed out the secrets I can’t find in myself. But I know they’re there! Somewhere inside me, the little demons are writhing with pleasure because they think they have won. But they have not! I am still here, fighting for my own sanity.
I am going to run away and make all the mistakes I promised I wouldn’t. I want to make love somewhere dirty and hidden. Something I can regret.
I can’t regret a damn thing, my love.
And every time I drive alone, I think of never stopping. Of driving too fast into a wall of water or into a great oak, praying that it would pulverize my existence into nothing but something to be scraped off of my dashboard.
How about, we do it together? You and I can drive and drive until we find the right cliff. Take that leap with me, hands clasped tight and eyes locked.
Give it all up with me.
Give it up before I fall for you.
Give it up before I explode.

Is this a life or a lie.?

"I choose not to choose life. ♥ "


why.?

because you need to be perfect, you need to do this and that, you need to grow up, you need to fight about your dreams & beliefs, you need to love others even you don't like them, you can't do what you want without thinking about others, you need to be graceful and charming, shiny and made of perfectly polished glass - you just need to be like others want you to see.

i am who i am and if you don't like me the way i am well then i just don't care. i won't change and be the way you want me to be. i just won't. you can shout, you can be angry, you can hate but i won't be a plastic doll without feelings that can't stand up for myself.

fight, be uncontrollable, be rebel and be a heroe who won't lose his identity and will save the world from plastic dolls with fake smiles and mechanical gearwheel heartbeats. from the thousands of judging eyes and hundreds of condemnatory lips telling you how good-for-nothing you are and how unacceptable you are to others who are perfectly glanced and made from fake aristocratic etiquette.

instead i have a pure soul, red blood in my veins, heart that beats for people i love and who are what they want to be truly. blue tears when i am sad, harsh words when i am angry, smile when i am lighthearted and serious when i fight for my greatest dreams.

i refuse to be controlled by this program of perfectness and lies. to wear a plaster of happiness when i am wounded, to stay down on that cold floor of punishment even when i am not guilty, to surrender when i am so close to my goal and to die from the first rusty bullet of pain.

i am the hero and the one who will stand up for myself and the truth not lies. i won't pretend and be white, perfect and controlled by the ropes of person who makes marionettes of life that other people want to see and be proud of them. and then after some years forget about us in dark, dusty corner of attic of existence. exchanging us for new technology dolls who can talk, walk and most important lie that no one ever will find out.

The Journey we call LIFE

Walking all alone,
A path I have strewn

A Journey that doesn't seem to cease
Losing meaning each step I advance

Too fast I step ahead,
Pushing behind everything dearly prized,

Fading faces of friends
Blurring images of a lovely past,

From this hell, will I ever get a break
Will time ever take me back

I'm desperate to slow down,
Waiting for a close down,

All hopes descend
My confidence near to the ground

All I see now is barren land,
Darkened sky beyond,

Have I come too far,
From where I can never go back.

Have I come too far,
From where I can never go back.

.....And...what makes U feel alive ?

Hmmm.........How sweeet is that :) ? How touching !!! Some things need not be "explained" so I'll keep this short =)...."You can live without something if you have someone to live for." :)

'Chaand pura hai..
aur raat adhi'

Nothing else to say, but still wanted to blog...

Life is increasingly becoming a monologue....with lots of background score and occasional guest appearances.